


Palace

by iStygianEmpress (iDarkEmpress)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Breakup, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 04:52:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13756710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iDarkEmpress/pseuds/iStygianEmpress
Summary: Our love wasn't enough to keep everything in tact, to glue and piece back fragments of what we used to be the way it was before the fallout.The palace that we spent years on making was turning to dust while we slip farther away from each other.





	Palace

**Author's Note:**

> I just wrote it without any plan so I hope that it's kinda good. 
> 
> Some part of this is influenced by Sam Smith's 'Palace' it's the reason behind the title (I suck at making titles). 
> 
> Enjoy.

I didn't know what happened. I didn't know the reason why. I didn't know who was at fault. I didn't know what has been done for everything to slowly fall apart and slip from our grasp. For us to stop seeing eye to eye.

  
For months, we had fights. I couldn't count how many times, nor could I remember the reason behind it. For months the space that used to be filled with love and affection became a place full of hurt and frustration. The kisses and gentle touches became a jab of finger full of accusations, of hands flailing in anger. The sweet words became knives that seemed to reach deeper and deeper in each inflicted cut, poison running hotly in our veins. The nights spent cuddled in each others' warmth became sleeping with our backs to each other or nights spent alone in the confines of our room.

  
We were in love. We were still in love. We could see how each fight hurts the other more than before, but the fights would just keep on coming, frustration made us want to rip our hair out. Our love wasn't enough to keep everything in tact, to glue and piece back fragments of what we used to be the way it was before the fallout. Our relationship is crumbling down and there was nothing we could do about it. We were only holding on, waiting, helplessly watching as the thing thay we happened to treasure the most come to its inevitable end.

  
The palace that we spent years on making was turning to dust while we slip farther away from each other.

  
We didn't dare wait for the pitiful end to come. We didn't want us to end with nothing but hateful memories to keep. If what we had should come to an end, we want to end it in a way that would leave a smile on our face once we healed. We wanted it to ens with peace and acceptance, not with spite and threads hanging loose.

  
One morning, I woke up to Eren cooking breakfast for the two of us. He greeted me with a smile on his face, a sight that made my chest ache in longing. It has been so long since I saw it, a smile that would put the brightest star to shame. He pecked my lips the way he did before, soft and sweet, enough to make me feel like he set my body in an encasing warmth.

  
Our days hasn't been this serene in months. We chatted and laughed as we ate, sharing innocent kisses whenever we can.

  
We lounged around the living room, kissing and cuddling on the couch as the movie we chose kept on playing in the background. I missed his warmth, missed his scent that reminded me of summer. He was laying back on the couch while I laid on top of him, my head resting on his chest as his fingers played my hair, keen on listening to his heartbeat. Keen on distracting myself from intruding thoughts.

  
 _'It wasn't the right time to think about that,'_ I scolded myself. ' _He's here. He's here right beside you. That's all that matters.'_

  
_We spent the time like the day wouldn't ever end. We took our time. Spent every second reminding ourselves of what we loved about each other. I did my best to remember the sound of his voice, of his laugh. I did my best to remember the feeling of his hair against my fingers. I burned the color of his eyes in my mind, drowned myself in his scent, his warmth, his touches. I memorized how his lips moved against mine, his taste, how my body seemed to fit perfectly in his arms, caging me in._

  
For someone who values freedom, this was a cage that I never wanted to escape from.

  
Once the sun took its rest and the moon and stars scattered across the black canvas above us, we went our to the place where Eren took me in our first date, where he asked me to be his. We were dressed neatly, our hands clasped together as we made our way inside the place. He pulled out my chair and waited for me to sit before he went to his seat, the night carrying out in the most pleasant of ways. It helped distract me from the thoughts running around inside my head.

  
Before we left, Eren asked me for a dance. The center of the room already has some people swaying along the music, filling the place with sounds that were slow, sweet, yet painful. I took his offered hand and he led me to the dance floor, placing both of his hands on my hips while I wrapped my arms around his neck.

  
Our movements were slow as we swayed along the music, barely moving from where we stand. We were clinging on to each other like one of us would disappear any moment we loosen our hold. Keeping my head against his chest I listened to his heartbeat, reveling in the warmth Eren has. He had his chin of top of my head, singing along the music in silent whispers that only I could hear.

  
We headed home after that. Neither of us were in a rush once we arrived, waiting until the two of us were done cleaning ourselves. Our movements weren't frantic even after our lips met, hands patiently working to remove anything that separated us. Lips and hands mapping every dips and curves, keeping it in our memory.

  
Eren left me gasping for breath. He worked me like I was an instrument he has already mastered. Movements slow and gentle, he was staring at me straight in the eye, his turquoise eyes bright with passion, with every burning emotion he has for me.

  
"E-Eren. I-I love you..." so fucking much.

  
I did. I knew that I love him with every single cell in my body. And the way he looked at me reminded me of how endless my love for him was.

  
So why? Why did we have to end?

  
"I love you too, Levi. I love you so fucking much," he whispered, voice quivering with emotions that were threatening to break through.

  
He left me shouting his name as I reached my peak, my arms pulling him closer to me to crash my lips against his. We laid like that for a while, waiting for our breaths to even out. I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

  
"Eren..." I breathed out. "Thank you. I'm sorry."

  
"Levi..."

  
If he felt warm tears against his skin, he didn't comment about it. And neither did I.

  
The next morning came. The spot beside me was empty, but it was still warn and the sheets has creases. It helped me realize that yesterday wasn't a bittersweet dream and Eren hasn't been gone for long.

  
Wincing at the pain that came from my hips, I sat up, noticing a piece of paper resting on the nightstand. I looked outside the window to see Eren putting his bags inside his car before looking back to stare at our—my—house. With a sigh he turned back, got inside his car and drove away. After a few seconds, he was gone.

  
Turning my attention back to the letter, I took it with a shaky hand. Every part of me was hurting, but nothing could compare to the excruciating pain residing on my chest. Opening the letter, I did my best to reign over the tears that were threatening to spill.

  
_'Dear Levi,_

  
_I'm sorry that it has come to this. Both of us know that we didn't want this to happen, but we are also aware that holding on to a sinking ship wouldn't do us any better._

  
_Love, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. This end might be too painful, but if I were given a chance to do experience being with you again, I would gladly take it. You helped me become a better person. You made me experience how good it felt to love a person with your all and be loved in return the same way._

  
_I love you, Levi. My love for you didn't get any less even through the fights. I don't think that I could love someone more or as much as I love you. There's nobody like you, Levi. You were different. And you have all of my heart. You can throw it away if you don't want to keep it, leave it forgotten, but the piece of your heart that you gave me will remain treasured inside me until I take my last breath._

  
_I hope that we are both healed once we meet again. Maybe when that happens, we could start again. But until then, I'm going to continue this life._

  
_I love you with all that I am. I'm sorry for hurting you. I wish that sometimes I regret building this castle with you because it hurts so much now, but having you as my king, I couldn't. I know that my time wasn't wasted because I know how real my love for you is, Levi._

  
_—Eren''_

  
Reading his name, I couldn't stop the tears. I let myself cry, trying to lessen the ache that seemed to consume my body.

  
I didn't want this to happen, but it has to. It was great, but it wasn't the right time for us. We lost ourselves in the high. It was time to for us to get back down. 


End file.
